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Will It Surf? Onzie Shorts Review

This post is mainly an Onzie review that will be the first in a series about the performance of cute athletic outfits. They’ll all have titles like “Will It Surf”, “Will It Beach”, “Will It Yoga”, or “Will It Dance”. Since I spend a lot of my free time doing all things beach, yoga, or aerial dance, I have tested a lot of cute designer fitness gear.

Full disclosure, my favorite performance suit by far to surf in is from Calavera. Let’s face it, Texas waves can get pretty burly. Even though I have a ton of other cute suits, Calavera is the one that has built in tie strings that basically guarantee the suit will stay on if you get caught in the white and are pummeled by a few waves. The last thing you want to worry about out there is whether or not your suit is doing what it is supposed to. The other suits can be layered under wetsuits or board shorts and tanks. But sometimes the waves are not so burly, and then the other suits can get their moment in the sunshine.

 

Will Onzie Surf (or SUP)?

Will it surf? Yes! It will.

This is actually an outfit that I would rather wear stand up paddleboarding than surfing. I’ve worn the Onzie side-tie shorts surfing layered over a bikini a few times. In shorter waves, and did have to keep adjusting them, but then in longer waves they were awesome and cute. The top will surf, no problem. Depending on how cool the water or harsh the sun is, I may layer a tank like this or a rashguard over it.

The sugar skull flower tank is one of my favorites. It’s from Black Heart Lingerie, a cute boutique concept that was a cross between Hot Topic and Victoria Secret manufacturing. Think along the lines of your gloomy ex-goth older sister who likes comfy lounge clothes, classic/nineties rock bands, and eighties throwback dancehalls. And, their “Love You To Death” motto was so cute. I amassed quite the collection of tanks from Black Heart, along with all of the other girls in my dance classes, before they were absorbed by Hot Topic.

The matching Onzie short/top peacock pattern top was originally bought for aerial dance, and it is awesome for that and surfing. The side-tie shorts style is really popular in dance class. The ties can be cinched up so the shorts stay on a little better, or left down for length. Most girls cinch them up. It’s considered a little frumpy to not do that. I like to layer them over tights for fabrics class (so the tissu doesn’t stick to your legs), and sometime’s I’ll wear a leotard underneath. For surfing, this shorts style works in Texas. But a lot of girls in more liberal states and countries post about bikini “diaper butt”, and tend to wear more Brazilian style bottoms. Which is totally cool, but that would not fly in Texas. A lot of the time, I’m the only girl out there. I’m not really that into a bunch of guys of various ages and walks of life looking at my butt hanging out of my suit. It probably happens anyway, but these shorts can help combat that. And they aren’t cut to sag in the back like a diaper, but if you’re super conscious about that, they may not be for you. Onzie has a ton of other cute sport short styles without the side ties (that I will review later 😉 ).

Of course Spy Optics Happy Lenses will surf. You may not want to take them in the water, but you can stow them in your waterproof surf bag for when you come to shore for a water and banana break. These lenses not only look cute, they are also polarized. This reduces the reflection of the sun off the water, so your eyes won’t hurt as much. I like to wear these driving, too. When I look through my tinted windows at other tinted windows I see a rainbow reflection, which always puts me in a good mood. Spy Optics have a ton of other styles of lenses to help protect your peepers from the sun when you’re exposed to the elements on the beach.

I like to put Marc Anthony Strictly Curls on my hair after I get out of the water for the last time (supposedly, lol). A lot of the time I’ll end up going back in, which doesn’t bother me. This product isn’t super expensive, so I don’t feel like I’m being really wasteful if I want to go in for a last splash. It also leaves my hair super soft. Some products that have a lot of alcohol end up leaving it dried out. This one is great for nourishing your hair after you’ve been in the ocean for a while.

Onzie Side String Shorts // Onzie Sports Bra // Black Heart Lingerie Skull Tank // Spy Optics Happy Lens // Marc Anthony Strictly Curls

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